roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize