I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
