well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
