I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You're completely useless in the revolution.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
