So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
