I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
