he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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