Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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