That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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