I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
