nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
