wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize