I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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