My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
