dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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