We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
