he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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