I wanna passion pit in your ass
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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