i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
