It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
