from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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