YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
