You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
