Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
