Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
