I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
