Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
