Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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