i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
