I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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