Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
