is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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