WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize