do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
