I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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