I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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