My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
