So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
True strength comes from lack of pants
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
