Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
