I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize