I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
