I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
