I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
