Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize