peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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