you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
