rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
