Kiss
Puke
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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