just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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