Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
