Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just made my gag reflex go away.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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