The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
