my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
