I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
