well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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