at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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