Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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