now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize